BabyDaddy revealed: You may now resume your regularly scheduled lives

I don't often stray to celebrity topics, but Boy, howdy, I wish I'd written this (I certainly thought it...)

From Miki Turner at MSNBC:

Baby daddy revealed! Can we stop caring now?

[Anna Nicole Smith's] life was one long sad joke, which is why I now believe that these have to be the last days that John prophesied about in the Book of Revelation. The world is in turmoil and we’re a nation that allowed ourselves to be caught up in Smith’s web of absurdity for far too long.

There’s something terribly amiss in the universe when you realize that the deaths of heads of state, Civil Rights and religious leaders have received less coverage than the drug-induced passing of Smith. The collective contributions of John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Mother Theresa and even Anne Frank are far more important than the news of who Dannielynn’s father is.

Right?

And while I am always sorry to hear the news of anyone’s death, the initial reports of Smith’s passing from an overdose of prescription meds was more stunning than sorrowful. The sadness didn't hit me until I realized that I didn't really care that she had died. I didn't care about how broken-hearted she must have been after losing her son Daniel. I didn't care that she had issues with her mother and I had almost stopped caring that her daughter would grow up without a mother.

The massive coverage had rendered me emotionally bankrupt.

I do care, however, that more Americans have died in Iraq. I care that more people have fallen off cruise ships and that legendary Grambling football coach Eddie Robinson has died during a time when thousands of African American boys could benefit from his guidance. I care that there are only eight more episodes of “The Sopranos” left. I am troubled by the facts that President Bush is still in office, that people are still being slaughtered in Darfur and that Elizabeth Edwards has incurable cancer.

And I care that in 2007 someone would have the audacity to “jokingly” call anyone a “nappy-headed ho” and think that it’s funny.

I wish I did care that Larry Birkhead will now know the joys of fatherhood. But unlike what is going on with Imus, I think this whole DNA debacle is truly funny. Isn't it hilarious that everyone in the world now knows his name because he used to have sex with Anna Nicole Smith? He’s like the Kato Kaelin of his generation. And isn't it even more amusing that there’s probably no end in sight to this ongoing saga?

The Kato Kaelin of his generation -- that's brilliant! Now to explain all this to Zsa Zsa's husband.

And yes, you can stop caring now (assuming you ever started.)