Order from Randomness

So, I'm lying in what can best be described as a trough (well padded, but essentially a trough), staring at the acoustic ceiling and vents while a machine that looks like a laundry press rotates around and takes images of my heart.

And what I think about is not the test, nor the reason I was there; I spent time trying to see patterns in the circular holes in the ceiling speaker cover.

Despite the title of this post, the holes in the speaker cover are certainly not random. But, they also don't run in parallel lines or increase in predictable sequences of numbers as the circles get larger (I counted until I couldn't keep my eyes on the correct rings.) However, I kept trying to "see" shapes in lines, patterns in the radii, and to determine whether the circles were closed or part of a spiral.

In any case, I know that my desire to see patterns is part of the normal human desire to impose order on our worlds. The sort of order you look for when you hear words from your doctor like "non-specific" or "maybe." Maybe and non-specific are just too uncertain, and the timing seemed just a bit too random.

So, while we wait for what will probably be another "you can live with this" moment, we'll deal with what we know and be thankful for answers when they come (and for good insurance!)