How do you explain...

... when bad things happen to little kids? And then happen again?

It's Friday night, late, and I'm finally able to post on yesterday's occurrences. My middle sister called me yesterday afternoon just before 5:30 and asked"have you heard the news?" in that particular voice that lets you know the news won't be good.

From an email Izzy sent to friends after Dogwood activated the prayer chain:

Today, while waiting in the carpool lane to pick up the older boy, the young daughter (J; the one whose eye has just opened back up) jumped out of the open van door just as van was about to move forward in the line. J was run over by the rear wheel.

It gets mighty hot sitting in the carpool line and kids go in and out of mini-vans to play in the grassy area. plenty of moms pull forward once the line starts moving without shutting the passenger side door -- I think far fewer will at this particular school.

I work pretty close to the hospital and got there fairly quickly. BiL and his parents were in the room; Sis was talking to the police who had followed the ambulance. This branch of the family has been through an awful lot in the past few years; I imagine few things, though, will equal the trauma of running over your child. Nothing the officer could say equalled what I am sure was being said in my sister's head...

As a nurse, I was expecting to see spinal compression, broken bones and kidney injury. The first thing I saw when I entered the room (I'm trained to look for this sort of thing), was the clear, straw-colored urine in the catheter tube. Deep breath -- this is very good. Spontaneous movement of the toes. This is also good. Upon awakening from the sedation needed for xrays, she complained of itching, demanded apple juice, and told us about the accident. Her memory was that she jumped.

Deep breath again...this is good, she has her memory intact. Long look at sister, who is going to re-live over and over the thumpa-thump she heard during the accident--"are you going to be OK?" and knowing that some things may never be back to normal, completely, if you look below the surface.

Our first impressions, based on initial scans and xrays led to this email:

Her pelvis is broken in two places, but there are no signs of internal injuries. She will be in the hospital for a couple nights, and then will be sent home in an immobilizing cast. But it could be a whole lot worse.

J drank some GI dye (mixed in the apple juice) and we went up to the Peds ICU to await further xrays of her gut. Per her doctor, who was looking at the scrapes and tire marks, "I've just got the think that there might be damage there" (Points to abdomen.) BiL's family had taken home one son, the neighbors had another. BiL, after getting locksmith assistance from long-time friend of the family (we always called him"Dad's favorite son"), took off to get the van, clothes for the overnight stay, etc. Mom, I, and two brothers ended up taking turns being with Sis in the PICU until he returned.

Parents of injured children look for someone to blame. BiL experienced this all week after the previous accident which left little J with a hugely swollen eye and fractured cheek bone. Blood is often thicker than wedding rings, and both parents turned to their families of origin for support, venting, validation, etc. They'll need lots of prayer and support to help them turn to each other to get through this.

I sent this out earlier:

Thanks to all for your prayers and expressions of concern for my niece.

Despite her doctor's opinion as he looked at J's scrapes and bruising, certain that there would be damage in her abdomen, scans and xrays showed only small fractures on pelvic bones that won't interfere with the growth plates. There was no internal bleeding, no renal damage, no neurological impairment in her extremities or vital organs.

When I visited the hospital early this afternoon, we walked to the playroom where she played in a chair and one the floor with her Daddy. She wasn't willing to climb into the chair, and held one leg a little stiffly as she walked, but her gait was otherwise even and walking was unlabored. She figured out how to feed herself cereal despite her right hand being immobilized for the IV. She figured out how to color. When she wasn't really willing to give up a toy, she figured out that she could offer to share to get more time with it -- not bad reasoning.

She was discharged to home directly from the ICU: no cast, no wheelchair, no catheter...

There will be some pain, lots of medical follow-up, etc. There will also be lots of processing of what happened in her 3 1/2 year old mind, which was composing a sing-song of "Mommy ran over me" followed by giggling,

Those with kids can imagine how this will affect her parents. Those without can still offer prayers for this little girl and the extended families who, we hope, can support this couple as they work to turn to each other for comfort and strength.

Thanks to those who've followed links or responded to emails and offered prayers. The explaining may take much longer and address much more than the recovery process.