As a fan of Colbert, I was tickled to find an "On Notice Board" generator.
My current version:
Why Bears? Why not?
Via Open Book where Amy Welbor's list included Dan Brown and Ft. Wayne "International" Airport.
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Howdy. We've moved from Cayce, but St. Elizabeth of South Rose Hill or Lizette de Waccamaw de Sud just don't do it for me.
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I think it's time that the truth be told. Or should I say, it's time to explore "truthiness." I'm talking "Threat Down.". I'm talking Bears.
By continually using the very real threat of bears to do nothing more than get laughs, Mr. Colbert trivializes the threat and desensitizes us to it. And why would he want to do that? The answer is obvious. Just look at his name. Col-bert. Col is related to the name "Cole," the German "kohl," and the English "coal." It means "black." And the second half? Why do you think he pronounces it the way he does?
That's right, Mr. Black Bear; we're on to you. I think it's time for a little genetic testing to unmask your part in this inter-ursine battle for supremacy. The human race will be your pawns no longer.
Nor even your kibble.
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