Death of a Patriarch

Cliff Eckstrom has died, aged nearly ninety, of multiple myeloma. If you look on-line, his obit should appear tomorrow and will be available for about a week in The State's archives. Right now, you'd only find his name as a contributor to a Christian organization, and a supporter of Talking Books for the Blind.

So, there is obviously some reason to blog on this obscure old guy. My reasons are (1) his remarkable family that has been such a blessing to my family of origin over the past 4 1/2 decades, and (2) his witness to Christ.

(1) Family.

One son told me that, after having attended something like Boys State in Jr. High, his older brother came back with a sudden interest in politics and public service. The next year, son #2 went and caught the same bug. There family has been involved in politics ever since. Cliff's sons have served as Chair of a School District's Board of Trustees, SC State Treasurer, SC Comptroller General, a Circuit Court / County Probate Judge, and have served in the military. Cliff's children have run companies (sometimes one after the other taking a turn at the till), more than one of which used my Dad's services as an electrician.

They've been controversial (here and here) and never invisible. Even when taking a controversial stand, there's never been a hint of scandal. They've even inspired admiration in political opponents. (When David was diagnosed with brain cancer and die shortly after losing the race for State Superintendent of Education, his opponent, Inez Tenenbaum, actually held fund-raisers to retire David's campaign debt.)

I will personally never forget an afternoon in October 2002 when, after Izzy and I had left a message about my Dad's brain cancer diagnosis, Richard came by the hospital. He spent an unhurried visit, spending several minutes aloud in prayer, loving and reassuring Dad. He mentioned he needed to drive to another city--I never know until later that he was headed to a televised debate. He spent time that could have been used for last-minute prep in prayer for Dad. This seems typical of a man who, after losing his own re-election bid a few years earlier, had spent the greater part of a year caring for his older brother during that brother's battle with cancer.

This may sound more like praise for the Eckstrom kids, but I know that you don't get kids like that without strong, remarkable parents. That brings me to reason #2 for writing about Cliff's passing:

(2) Faith / Charity / Hope

Cliff and Virginia raised 8 children (David, Richard, Dan, Jim, John, Nate, Margaret and Mary.) They had at least 3 of their children AFTER the birth of Margaret, who has lived her whole life unlimited by anyone else's expectations of what she could do with Down Syndrome. The family lived their faith, sharing with all who had need.

They became lifelong friends of my parents in the very early 60's and these couples prayed with and for each other and each other's children. Cliff's wife, Virginia, was scheduled to host a Tupperware party at my parents' apartment (in the projects) on the night of November 22, 1963. Though the President had been killed that afternoon,and everyone was in shock and mourning, the decision was made to continue with the party since all the Tupperware being bought that night was going to go with a missionary couple who were leaving for Africa. Missions came first.

In my last year of High School (the earth had just about cooled by then), the Eckstroms moved to our neighborhood. Two of their kids rode the bus with B1 and me. We noticed that every weekend brought a steep driveway full of cars of Eckstrom kids and grandkids back for Sunday dinner. There was never any question of the devotion to family that these kids learned from their parents. There was also such a love for and acceptance of Margaret, who worked in the family business until just after her 50th birthday (a remarkable age for someone with Down's) when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.

When I moved to back SC, I learned just how close Cliff and Virginia were to my parents. Cliff, legally blind, walked down almost every day, regardless of the weather, to see and pray for/with Dad. Hills in my folk's neighborhood can be tough on seniors, but Cliff made the effort. Margaret would occasionally walk with him, preferring to be driven the 2 blocks by her mom. Cliff would pray for strength and healing for Dad; Margaret would "speak against" the cancer. She'd lost her older brother and didn't want to lose her friend. Its also a testimony to my folks that Margaret could really see them as her friends. The Eckstrom boys that live near here were also over very frequently bringing food, encouragement, love and sharing what they'd lived through and what to expect. David's death was still recent and they could have avoided re-living the hurt; instead, they took the hope and faith that had developed as they shepherded David to Jesus and helped us see how not to despair in desperate times. This included long periods of praying with us around Dad's bed.

One more comment on faith: Cliff and Virginia resisted advice to institutionalize Margaret, raising her at home as a full member of the family. She developed their work ethic, their closeness, and absorbed their faith. At one point, disliking the preaching style she heard at their church, Margaret decided to walk with Sunday to a different church in the neighborhood. That lasted until the new church added drums... Margaret has a child's understanding of Heaven; she has known that her brother is there and she made sure that Mom know that Dad was there as soon as she received word of his death. She's been living away from home for a few days while her Dad's cancer advanced, and was told today that he had gone to Heaven. Her reply was to say "I want to go, too."

We'll be especially in prayer for Virginia, who lost her husband of 62+ years on the day the world again marked the passing another Father..