Prayer, Part 1

Mrs. Sandra Bohiri wants me and my family "to be praying for [her] as regards [her] entire life and [her] health. "  She is apparently a new Christan convert, having "suffered the loss" of her husband and son in the Gulf War (hard to tell if GWI or GWII.)  She also hopes I can use the $45M fortune her late husband amassed "for the development of philanthropism and also as aids for the less privileged around you and to spread the gospel of God around."  She apparently cannot do this in her homeland of Cote d'Ivoire, so needs my help.

 

The good folks at Saint Matthew's Churches wrote today to let me know that "at this very moment, God is endeavoring to help [me.]"  He is moving me "into the realm of financial increase."  They've asked me to take my "biggest seed", money I was planning to spend or pay somewhere else," and send it to them, along with my confidential prayer request.

 

In return, they've sent me two pennies, glued to a page with a really bad cartoon picture of Jesus (where are the rioters now??) I am to secretly place the pennies into my shoes, walk around a bit, then secretly place the pennies just inside and just outside of my door--this way God can bless my coming in and going out.  This is "God's strategy and His plan to bless [me], [their] faithful friend...coming and going."

 

Best part of this letter:

"You cannot hear God when you listen to others.  Go where you can be alone to read this blessed word." 

Translation:  If your family knows what you are doing, they'll try and talk you out of wasting your money--and we cannot let that happen.

 

2nd best part of the letter:

"God's love for you is unconditional, but His blessings are conditional.  God loves you because you are His child.  But God can only bless you because of what you do.  You did not initiate His love for you...But, you can initiate His miracles for you!" 

Translation:  We're really just about separating you from your $$.

 

I might pray for Mrs. Bohiri, were I to believe she exists. I'll drop the pennies into the piggie bank and trust God to bless my coming and going, and I'll let the folks in Tulsa pray for (and prey on) others.