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Howdy. We've moved from Cayce, but St. Elizabeth of South Rose Hill or Lizette de Waccamaw de Sud just don't do it for me.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Take THAT, Alberto!

Headline from CNN:

FEMA to get tough with next hurricane


BATON ROUGE, Louisiana (CNN) -- The Gulf Coast will be widely and quickly evacuated this hurricane season, even if the storm doesn't threaten to smash levees and leave a metropolis under water, state and federal officials said Tuesday.

The thousands of families displaced by Hurricane Katrina make the need for prompt evacuation dire, added one official.

"We have probably 94,000 travel trailers out there with families in them spread across three states, and these people have to be evacuated during even a Category 1 hurricane," said David Paulison, acting director of the Federal Emergency Management Agency.

...

Another measure announced Tuesday was that New Orleans, Louisiana, will have no "shelters of last resort" for the city's 225,000 parish residents, said Orleans Parish's homeland security chief Col. Terry Ebbert.

The Superdome served that role during Katrina, with thousands taking refuge inside the 269,000-square-foot stadium. Evacuees were left without food, water or electricity for days, prompting widespread criticism of the government's handling of the disaster.

"Our goal is to ensure that we create an environment that it makes more sense for every one of those individuals to leave in the face of storm rather than stay," Ebbert said. "There will be no shelters of last resort."

Ebbert said the government is looking into freeing up rail service, aircraft and buses to help evacuate residents who do not have their own transportation.

"No Shelters of Last Resort" was the official policy for Cindy & Dennis--should have been for Katrina. No one was served by letting folks think the SuperDome was safe, secure or stocked. Let's see how this works this year.

DVC appears (dissed?) on Boston Legal

My best reconstruction from 3 minutes ago (without TiVo)

Alan Shore (lawyer) to gorgeous brunette in bikini at the day spa: What are you reading?

GBiB, holding a hardback book up so cover is easily read: The Da Vinci Code

Shore: Are you enjoying it?

GBiB: It's OK. Have you read it?

Shore: No. It's enough for me that DaVinci was a brilliant painter and engineer, without turning him into the Karl Rove of the 16th Century.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Penance Service: Bad News and Good News

Went to our Parish's Communal Penance Service this evening.  Attendance was pretty good, despite the bulletins (containing the reminders) having all disappeared before Sunday Masses this weekend.
 
I chose the somewhat shorter line,and confessed to one of the visiting priests.  I confessed things that I seem to confess over and over.  This perceptive priest picked up on it, though we'd never spoken before.  His words, which could have been discouraging, were that these were issues I'd deal with the rest of my life.  (What some might have called "besetting sins" he described in terms of genetic makeup.  I knew what he was saying...)
 
So what's the good news?  God will continue to help me recognize when I'm tempted, be there to help me through it, and forgive me those times when I give in.  Like Hosea's wife Gomer (we sang "Hosea" tonight), God welcomes me to "come back to Him with all my heart."
 
Prone to wander, Lord I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love
Here's my heart, oh
Take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
 
Robert Robinson in Come, Thou Fount

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Sweetums

Great line from tonight's Episode of "The Simpsons"

"Where's that soul-sucking she-beast that I call 'Sweetums'?"

A Little Night Music for Laetare Sunday

So, three times in 4 days, I've been presented with this theme:



1. Izzy and I are headed to the movies on Thursday. I had come home a bit early from work with a migraine that was finally responding to a day's worth of medication. The pain was finally gone, but it had left me with a tendency to keep singing Copacabana. We're driving through the neighborhood as I slur: "His name was Rico; He wore a diamond..." Izzy suddenly begins whistling a familiar classical tune. I hum along, through at least 16 bars of it. When he finishes, I continue: "but that was thirty years ago, when they used to have a show." (Ok, I missed a bit--did I mention the migraine medicine?) Izzy turns to me in mock horror: "What are earth are you singing? I've put MOZART into your head!" (or words to that effect.) I said I'd be better able to clear the Manilow if the Mozart had lyrics. We sang "I de-cline, to sing that mu-u-sic..." on the rest of the way to the theater.

2. Friday, I arrive at my office around 12:15, after a long, long meeting in another building. My boss, the "inner sanctum" of whose office I occupy, had sent out emails saying it was "an Eine Kleine Nachtmusik sort of day." He played it on his computer off and on for the rest of the afternoon.

3. Mass this AM. We're doing the RCIA Scrutinies in our parish, so we have readings from Cycle A during the 3rd-5th Sundays in Lent. Somewhere in the middle of the story of the healing of the blind beggar, a cell phone starts a now very familiar tune...

Not sure what I'm supposed to think about this song appearing thrice in 4 days. When added to singing Latin chant in three Masses this weekend, one wonders how much longer I'll have room for all the 70's disco music currently stored in my head.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

This might just explain everything



Louisiana State's Glen Davis, center, hauls down a rebound despite the intense defense of Duke's Sean Dockery (15), Josh McRoberts, left, Shelden Williams, rear, and Greg Paulus, right, during their NCAA Atlanta Regional basketball semifinal at the Georgia Dome in Atlanta, Thursday, March 23, 2006. LSU upset top seeded Duke 62-54.

And it's over, 62-54


Just walked in the door after seeing the very last Merchant-Ivory film, The White Countess, and caught the final 19 seconds of the Duke game. From Ismail Merchant's last effort to JJ and Sheldon's last seconds as college players.

Couple of classy exits.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Life is a Gift--Period.

Driving home Thursday night, I heard part of the Fresh Air program on Wrongful Birth. The interview covered a story featured in a March 12 NYT article by Elizabeth Weil (gotta register to read) on the birth of a child with Wolf-Hirschhorn syndrome (which includes mental retardation, physical disfigurement, inability to speak, seizures and respiratory and digestive problems) to a 31 year old woman & her husband. As described in the article, the prenatal care she received certainly does sound substandard (no fundal heights measured--even in the 3rd trimester.) However, the real issue arises when AJ arrives prematurely--too small, multiply-handicapped, medically fragile.

Weil's writing is as stark as it is disturbing:

What happened next in the years in which the Brancas came to love A.J. deeply and also to file a multimillion-dollar lawsuit claiming that Donna Branca's obstetrician's poor care deprived her of the right to abort him, sheds an uncomfortable light on contemporary expectations about childbearing and on how much control we believe we should have over the babies we give birth to. ...

As in many other realms, from marriage and its definition to end-of-life issues, those ethics and standards are being hashed out in the courts, in one lawsuit after another. And what those cases are exposing is the relatively new belief that we should have a right to choose which babies come into the world.

This belief is built upon two assumptions, both of which have emerged in the past 40 years. The first is the assumption that if we choose to take advantage of contemporary technology, major flaws in our fetus's health will be detected before birth. The second assumption, more controversial, is that we will be able to do something: namely, end the pregnancy if those flaws suggest a parenting project we would rather not undertake.


Parenting project. That describes all of us. It could also describe the undertaking, assignment (however we try to neutrally describe it) that has been joyfully received and accepted by our friends in NC, Eliza's parents.

We've been praying for Eliza's recovery from seizures, reliance on breathing machines, collapsed lung, etc. She has continued to improve in those areas, but it seems that God has defined a shorter stay here for her that her parents wanted/expected. See below for details.

Back to "Wrongful Birth," Weil adds, in a stark admission unusual for mass media:
...the ethical thicket ... is as thorny as ever. We may not want to give birth to disabled children, but at the same time we do not want to see ourselves as reproducing in a way that calls to mind prize cattle.

The moral quandary we find ourselves in pits the ideal of unconditional love of a child against the reality that most of us would prefer not to have that unconditional-love relationship with a certain subset of kids. ...

It is [the] observation [of a disability rights advocate], shared by many on both the left and right, that prenatal testing "is not a medical procedure to promote the health of the fetus. It is a procedure to give prospective parents information to decide whether or not to eliminate a possible future life."

The reasons to oppose termination are both obvious and subtle and not necessarily tied to abortion views in general. (The question of abortion rests on a single issue: is it O.K. to destroy a potential life? Termination involves an infinite number of heartbreaking queries that boil down to this: what about this life in particular?) Some argue that our desire not to raise impaired children is based on prejudice. Others claim that a choosy attitude toward fetuses brings a consumerist attitude toward childbearing and undermines the moral stature of the family. Still others maintain that the act of terminating impaired children drags us into a moral abyss, or its opposite, that raising children with impairments increases our humanity.

David Wasserman, a bioethicist at the University of Maryland, wrote a paper with Asch [a disability rights advocate] titled "Where Is the Sin in Synecdoche?" in which the two argue that prenatal testing is morally suspect because the system leads people to reduce fetuses to a single trait, their impairment. "Since time immemorial people have felt fear and aversion toward people with impairments, but these tests legitimize those fears," Wasserman says. Parenthood, according to Wasserman, is and should remain a gamble.

Having watched many parents gamble on handicapped and "typically developing" children gamble on how well their children will turn out, gamble on faith / morals / grades / respect / development of safe driving skills, I have to say that most parents I've watched seem to "get it," at least once they've had their kids. Children are a gift we unwrap--not something we predict. or on which we get warranties.

A final quote from the NYT article:

As Leon Kass, former chairman of the President's Council on Bioethics, has noted, in prenatal cases, often the only way to cure the illness is to prevent the patient.

Eliza Update--Gratitude through tears

From 3/15:

These MRI results show that, although her body and skull have continued to grow, Eliza's brain has not; in fact, it appears to be continuing to shrink. We'll know more once all the neurologists have a conference tomorrow, but the neonatologist has cautioned us that whatever they have to say will not be good. A person can't live with a disappearing brain, and since no one knows what is causing the shrinkage, at this point only a miracle will stop it. And so, as we have been all along, we continue to pray for a miracle and trust that God knows what is best for Eliza.
From 3/16:

We had a conference with the doctors and neurologists today. They confirmed the ill tidings of yesterday,with a little more detail. Eliza has lost 2/3 to 3/4 of the mass of the "thinking part" of her brain. The positive "baby" signs that we have seen require only a relatively reliable brain stem. Based on this finding, the doctors prognosticate that Eliza will not make it through her first year. If she does, she will be incapable of spontaneous physical motion, vision, and regular body function overall. So say the doctors. Because Eliza may only survive through dependence on machines, we have been advised to consider end-of-life decisions. Please pray that God would unite us in decisions that honor Him.

...[Eliza's Mom] had an image this morning of God waiting to hold Eliza. Then, as we left the hospital, the bells at the VA hospital next door chimed "How Firm a Foundation": "Fear not, I am with thee, o be not dismayed, for I am thy God and will still give thee aid. I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand, upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand." His Love surrounds us.

The doctors repeated time and again that they had no "good news" for us. It was a privilege to share with them that we had brought the "good news" to them: Jesus is Lord! Thank you for your prayers for the strength to see and express this truth clearly.

From 3/17:

We're grateful for all your expressions of sympathy over the past several days. Our emotions have run the gamut: sadness, fear, anger, but mostly joy. No, Eliza isn't the baby we imagined we'd have two months ago, but we're grateful for who she is and the blessing she is to so many people around her. We're eager to get her home so you all can see her and enjoy her, too. She really is so cute, and when she's snuggled up in our arms, it's easy to forget the challenges she's facing and just focus on our sweet baby.

I paste these notes from Eliza's parents on the 1st anniversary of the removal of Terri Schiavo's feeding tube. Her disabilities were deemed so heinous that she no longer deserved to be fed. For her intercession and for that of our late Pope, both of whose lives ended publicly even as people debated the value of the less than perfect life, I ask--asking especially again that "well-meaning people" don't devalue Eliza even as her family realistically faces what appears will be her short life.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Stealing Blog Ideas--Krispy Kreme


Or, at least stealing a comic about same...enjoyed this series immensely when it first appeared. Click to read full-size--it's worth it.

We Saw Snow!

...this past weekend.

Friday after work, we headed up to Mayberry, LSD, one of Izzy's favorite towns. On a whim, we apparently picked the best weekend of the year thusfar for riding.

We rode up on a pleasant afternoon, and managed to avoid the worst of the Harbison Traffic. After arriving and getting cleaned up, we rode through the tunnel and had dinner downtown at a non-smoking pub (!), where we got to hear live music. The musicians, who advertise themselves as "one banjo shy of a bluegrass band," were pretty good, but I think the grandfather of one of the musicians was pretty frustrated at the non-stop talking in the bar--plus the group of loud, loud people standing directly in front of them. I think Grandpa and I really prefer listening rooms...

We were too tired to do a late night ride under the stars, so we decided to take an AM ride up to Craggy Gardens. There were twisties and curves and SNOW! (Not falling, but plenty on the sides of the road, and more than I've seen all winter.)

We headed back to catch the ACC Semi-final tip-off--and got to see some amazing play by seniors JJ, Sheldon, Lee, Sean, frosh Greg, Josh, DeMarcus, and rest of the underclassman. Yay! another win!

Game over, back downtown to poke around Wall Street before Mass at the Basilica. Mayberry's a great place for people watching, strolling, shopping, riding, etc.

Mass was interesting--I think it's the first homily that I've heard that totally disregarded the Gospel reading. Fr. preached on Jews, Christians and Moslems being children of Abraham and expressed a wish for peace between these groups. Couldn't tell if this was a plea for interfaith dialogue, tolerance or a message against the war.

We sang "When I Survey the Wondrous Cross"--not as full a sound as would have been heard in a Protestant Church, but still satisfying to get to sing an older hymn. Also, at the beginning of Communion, the cantor intoned "Be Thou My Vision" before the congregation joined in on a communion hymn (which one, escapes me.) Izzy and I sang along to BTMV--wondering why OCP felt the need to alter the ancient lyrics...

After Mass, we strolled back to Wall Street for dinner at a place that had "Omelettes" and "Beignets" painted on the windows. Not so much on the dinner menu. They also couldn't do a veggie muffaletta. Probably a mistake to try for Nola food in NC. Still, Izzy enjoyed the gorgonzola shrimp and grits and I enjoyed the warm artichoke dip. We window shopped and watched the crowds in line for The Back Crows.

In the AM, we ate breakfast and re-packed. We headed back out onto the Parkway, taking the very long way back to Cayce. Somewhere around here, we pulled over so Izzy could yell (at my suggestion) "Top o'the world, Ma!" Lots more twisties and curvies as we headed down from a max height of ~5700 feet (and where are the guardrails??) More snow, once we turned away from the south sides of mountains. Snow! In March!!

Headed down the mountains towards Pickens County, SC, we were joined by every other bike owner in North and South Carolina (at least all the ones not heading back from Bike Week in Daytona.) Izzy, who loves mountain riding, did a great job keeping the pegs away from the pavement and I did my best to avoid panicking. We concluded our non-interstate ride on the Cherokee Foothills Scenic Highway, past Table Rock and Caesar's Head.

Through all the mountain riding, from Asheville through the Appalachians nearly to Newberry, we listened to Izzy's collection of Gillian Welch & David Rawlings on his iPod. That's a lot of music--all a great fit to the folkways of the mountains through which we were riding.

Home, nearly 90 degrees, and back to our lives. No AM radio on the Leanabago, so we had to wait until we walked in the door to discover that Duke had beaten BC for the ACC tournament Championship. After a weekend in the mountains, we'll take a foray into Bracketville.

Her Church

Thanks to Gashwin for the link (herchurch.org) that left Izzy and me dumbstruck. I think it was the goddess rosary that floored me most.

There's plenty of room in Christendom for improvement on the treatment of women and in the recognition of and and use of women's talents and unique gifts. I just don't think that this is the way to do it.

Curious, a "religious site" dedicated to women's spirituality and I cannot find a mention of the most honored woman in history--the Mother of God!

(Spiffy: the caretaker is called the "Minister of Property. " Of course, he also gets to be the Wedding Coordinator.)

Baby Eliza continues to grow

and may soon be re-extubated. She'll soon get a C-PAP, just like "Uncle Izzy." Maybe Izzy can get a new mobile... We'll be watching her progress via her very own blog (don't all babies get one now?)

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Ask & Ye Shall Receive


What a great guy...

Izzy diverted the "art" from the Saint Matthews Churches, and took a digital pic, using the camera I'd forgotten (we got it with the iMac.)

Anywho, here it is. You decide--high art, religious art, or just scary?

Monday, March 06, 2006

Oh, for a scanner

While I'm on a prayer theme, it would have been wonderful to be able to scan and post an image from the prayer /fundraising/scam letter I received today from the fine folks at Saint Matthews Churches.

It can only be described as "Brokeback Sower." Imagine the parable of the Sower, then have the sower just absolutely mince his way through the field. Imagine being the operative word--the putative art is headed to the landfill.

More on Prayer--Seeing the Fruits

YACS discussion on prayer tonight--great to see Pritcher there--just like old times (or not so old--more like just last year...)

Anywho, discussion was on prayer, especially contemplative prayer. Mr. & Mrs. C (not these folks), talked about prayer. Mrs. C is a 3rd order Discalced Carmelite. There was such an amazing passion (almost a subdued, assured passion--if such a thing is possible) in her eyes as she talked about her times with God spent in contemplative prayer. There could be no question of the intensity of her prayer life and her understanding of her calling, of their deep faith and reliance on God, of the effect of so many years spend seeking God together.

Living examples of godly lives--I'm so glad we got to see that this evening. Now to listen to what God is trying to tell me...

Eliza continues to Improve--Prayers Answered

From Eliza's Mom & Dad Sunday PM:

This evening, having been told that our baby was doing better thanks to God's provision, the elderly cashier at the parking garage said, simply, "But you asked." What a difference asking makes. We too often prefer to cower in our shelters of self-importance, nursing self-centered ambition. Praise God for His mercy in Jesus Christ to call us and draw us out. "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." (Jesus in Matthew 7:7)

So, we've prayed. We've interceded, and we've asked other servants of God to intercede. God has heard us, and we continue to pray.

From her parents this evening--some of the best news in a while for this 5-week-old:
Some big news today: if Eliza continues tonight to do as well as she has been over the past several days, she will be extubated (her breathing tube will be removed) tomorrow! We'll know sometime tomorrow morning after the doctors have completed their rounds whether they think she's ready or not. If she is extubated tomorrow, it will certainly be a relief to her; over the past day or two she has become increasingly uncomfortable with the tube down her throat, probably because she continues to become more aware and alert every day.

You can see that in her picture!
We've been warned not to be surprised if, after a day or two of breathing on her own, Eliza tires out and has to be reintubated for a little while to rest some more. After all, she has barely ever breathed without support, and she is still slowly recovering from being very, very sick.

... Please pray! This extubation attempt, whether it be tomorrow or in the next few days, will be a huge test of Eliza's strength. If she passes the test...well, we're trying not to get our hopes up too high, but it will be a big step towards getting our little girl home. Please pray for her to be strong and for us to be patient and accepting of whatever God's will is for Eliza tomorrow.

So we'll keep praying, listening for what God is telling us to ask and expect from Him

Thursday, March 02, 2006

The Whole Songbook of God

Like Gashwin, I went to the Schola workshop in Auburn, Alabama at the cupcake church.  It was very much like a total immersion foreign language class--not the Latin, but the Solfeggio (from do-rey-me-fah-sol, etc.)
 
As I told Gashwin, but will repeat here so I'll recall later:
Gashwin writes:

I think the workshop was a little frustrating to some of my companions, but learning chant without any background exposure to it, doesn't come in a day. I enjoyed it thoroughly.

As one of those companions, I was thoroughly prepared to sing in one foreign language--Latin. I had no idea we'd be singing in two foreign languages simultaneously!--Latin and solfeggio (thanks for the spelling.)

It took a bit to figure out that this is what I do intuitively--I just don't yet have the facility to do it "out loud." Being an alto, I'm a great fan of relative pitch. I hadn't known that chant notation allowed for that freedom (having never seen anything besides Western notation.)

The music was wonderful, I agree. I noticed some startled looks of recognition from older members of the cupcake congregation as the music began before Mass.

NB: In Protestant circles, it's common to hear ministers talk about preaching "the whole counsel of God." Learning some of this music is allowing me to sing from "the whole songbook of God." Not a bad outcome from a rainy Saturday.
So, in our Parish we're adding some chants to Masses for Lent/Easter.  Kyrie, Agnus Dei and (assume I learn it well enough!) the Sanctus.  This evening, I taught the Agnus Dei to Doc using neumes (I'd just learned it, myself!)  Quite a bit of distance from where I was last Saturday morning.  Now to see how our little Parish responds. 
 
Tomorrow, I'll gift the chant book I got at the Schola Workshop to a high school friend when Izzy and I meet her, plus spouse and kiddoes, for dinner.  She wore out a Liber Usualis--not bad for a Presby raised, "Babtist" organist. 
 
Last note from the Chant workshop: got to meet Yurodivi live and in person. Howdy!

Literary Murder Triva

So, Izzy and I are watching CSI, as our crime fighters (shouldn't they just be in the lab?) are de-bricking a chimney. Poe's "The Tell-Tale Heart" had been mentioned earlier, and I commented as I realized there was a body behind the wall: "It really is 'The Telltale Heart.' "

Izzy immediately let me know that "The Tell-Tale Heart" was about a body in the floorboards and that what Iwas recalling was "The Cask of Amontillado."

On cue, the CSIs have the exact same conversation.

All this whilst grading papers--that boy is good!

Prayer, Part 2

Just before arriving home and seeing the prayer and $$ requests referred to below, I received a request to pray for a real person.  This I did immediately, and have done even as I've since eating dinner and blogged on those who prey on others.
 
Someday I'll fully understand how intercessory prayer works--whether God intervenes to change events, whether natural consequences are interrupted, whether God changes His mind, whether God changes our ability to deal with what is going to happen (the outcomes of which we cannot know in advance), etc.  I don't know why, but God tells us to pray for one another.
 
James 5:16:  Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The fervent prayer of a righteous person is very powerful.
 
"Please take care of my friend, God," is what I'll pray fervently, even as I ask God to help me grow in righteousness.

Prayer, Part 1

Mrs. Sandra Bohiri wants me and my family "to be praying for [her] as regards [her] entire life and [her] health. "  She is apparently a new Christan convert, having "suffered the loss" of her husband and son in the Gulf War (hard to tell if GWI or GWII.)  She also hopes I can use the $45M fortune her late husband amassed "for the development of philanthropism and also as aids for the less privileged around you and to spread the gospel of God around."  She apparently cannot do this in her homeland of Cote d'Ivoire, so needs my help.
 
The good folks at Saint Matthew's Churches wrote today to let me know that "at this very moment, God is endeavoring to help [me.]"  He is moving me "into the realm of financial increase."  They've asked me to take my "biggest seed", money I was planning to spend or pay somewhere else," and send it to them, along with my confidential prayer request.
 
In return, they've sent me two pennies, glued to a page with a really bad cartoon picture of Jesus (where are the rioters now??) I am to secretly place the pennies into my shoes, walk around a bit, then secretly place the pennies just inside and just outside of my door--this way God can bless my coming in and going out.  This is "God's strategy and His plan to bless [me], [their] faithful friend...coming and going."
 
Best part of this letter:

"You cannot hear God when you listen to others.  Go where you can be alone to read this blessed word." 
Translation:  If your family knows what you are doing, they'll try and talk you out of wasting your money--and we cannot let that happen.
 
2nd best part of the letter:

"God's love for you is unconditional, but His blessings are conditional.  God loves you because you are His child.  But God can only bless you because of what you do.  You did not initiate His love for you...But, you can initiate His miracles for you!" 
Translation:  We're really just about separating you from your $$.
 
I might pray for Mrs. Bohiri, were I to believe she exists. I'll drop the pennies into the piggie bank and trust God to bless my coming and going, and I'll let the folks in Tulsa pray for (and prey on) others.

New Word

Just heard a term, for which I've coined a meaning--we'll see if that's the correct one later.

"Dictator-tot" or dictater-tot. n. A hyper-demanding 2-3 year old.

Gotta get time to write about other significant stuff...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Update: Had time to Google the term; it turns out that these folks define it as someone "suffering from Napoleon Syndrome."

While I think my definition is better (full of truthiness, I am), I liked their other neologisms:

  • copacabanal. adj. descriptor of a completely ordinary song, such as one by Barry Manilow.
  • cringe-splurge syndrome. n. disease or disorder whereby a consumer first shrinks back only to spring forth all the more powerfully to buy useless commodities.
  • emoticonoclast. n. an attacker of established on-line ideas and usages, especially those revolving around "emoticons" such as :)
  • homophonia. n. rhetorical trope whereby one's speech is affected to sound "gay."
  • omnimpotent. n. having unlimited lack of power or physical strength.
  • testoasteroven. n. naturally occurring chemical producing tertiary male characteristics such as insistence that one can fix all appliances.
  • vapid eye movement. n. non-verbal communication devoid of interest or sincerity.