Today was a day of working hard, and realizing that my motivations and attitudes were based on my (slowly dawning) realization that my boss just doesn't like me. I might get some begrudging respect, but never friendship or even collegiality. At this point, having realistically assessed the job market, and being stuck where I am, I've decided to focus on being grateful for employment and working to finish up ongoing projects as if I am preparing to leave.
Tonight's reading was on Noah-who worked in futility most of the time leading up to the flood. I'm praying for stamina and blameless performance that reflects my skills and gives full value to my employer.
A friend who lost her mother to cancer has received terrible cancer news about her stepmother. They have another horrible journey ahead of their family. I pray to be faithful in prayer for them--maybe the promotions I've consistently not gotten give me time for others--time that would have been taken up at work.
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Update: Carol died early in the morning of December 11. I sat with her son-in-law and grandchildren at a funeral later that morning. I held and played with a baby while we said good bye to a father/grandfather/godfather; the little child I held never got to meet her step-grandmother, who was always too ill whenever visits were suggested. Take those pics when I have a chance is my take-away,
Rest in peace, Carol.
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